If you’re looking for daily inspiration, you can get it in a number of ways. Some people use a “Word of the Day” calendar; others say affirmations. In my case, I turn to the Native American Spirit Animal Cards. Each morning after meditation, I shuffle the deck and pull a card. The accompanying book provides insight and wisdom.
In late spring of 1998, for seven days in a row, I pulled the Bear card. Bear’s message said, “Go within; be quiet. Find peace in silence.” I decided to follow that advice and go camping in the woods, alone, in silence.
After packing up my 1981 VW camper/van, I drove south from Seattle into Oregon, stopping in Northern California to visit the giant trees in the Redwood National Forest. Every day, I hiked and attended ranger talks held in a natural amphitheater with tree stump seats. This is where I learned how to fight off a mountain lion.
From the redwoods, I drove east into the beautiful Sierra Nevada mountains and checked into an ashram where I could camp and have a silent retreat. The ashram provided all meals along with a schedule of meditation and gentle yoga.
Silent retreats are not for everyone. When checking in, you are asked your purpose for silence and are offered spiritual counseling and a mantra. Then you’re given a sign to be worn around your neck that simply says: SILENCE. This is a great way to avoid all social interactions.
On the afternoon of day three, I intended to deep clean the camper. Instead, I opened all the windows, popped the top bunk area, unzipped the canvas window, opened the back hatch and sliding door, and took a nap.
I dreamt I was making out with my high school sweetheart in the back of his blue Dodge Dart at a football game. His friends, teasing us, jumped on the front bumper, moving the car up and down, playfully. It felt so real.
Suddenly, I was awake and saw the front of the camper dipping down just like in my dream.
Curious, I stepped forward to look out the windshield to see who was standing on my bumper, but I didn’t see anyone. I heard footsteps scampering around the driver’s side of the camper and turned around to see a big brown bear climbing into the back of the camper.
“NO! Get out!” I yelled firmly, speaking for the first time in days.
The bear backed out of the camper and walked to the open side door, poking his big brown nose inside. This bear looked fully grown, standing around five feet tall and weighing 500 pounds. His chestnut brown fur looked so soft, exactly like the picture on my animal card. I believed the bear was sent to me from Great Spirit to bring a message.
Instinctively, I grabbed a bunch of bananas from the counter, waved them under his big brown nose and said, “Do you like bananas? Do you want bananas? Then go get them!” Tossing the bunch about 25 feet from the camper.
The bear looked at me, then at the bananas, then walked to where they landed, sat down and started to eat.
Here’s how a bear eats bananas. Instead of peeling it the way humans do, he peeled it from the bottom of the banana, eating the fruit and then scraping the peel for all the extra nutrients.
Fascinating.
Watching him, I thought to myself, that is a great idea. I must remember to scrape my banana peels. Sitting silently in prayer, I thanked the bear for visiting reminding me to eat more potassium. This must be my bear messenger, I thought. I closed the side door and snapped some photos.
I felt euphoric communing with the bear. He finished the bananas and came back to the camper for more snacks. I found a cucumber, waved it under his nose and tossed it out the door just as I had with the bananas. That is when I learned a powerful lesson about bears.
Bears do not like cucumbers.
The bear looked at me as if I had insulted him. Then he ran back to the camper standing with claws hanging off the sliding door, showed me his teeth and demanded something else to eat.
That was when the reality of this powerful bear visitor hit me and I became hysterically panicked.
I started screaming, “Oh God! Why God!? Why a bear!?” Frantically searching for something else to feed him, I found a bag of trail mix. From the top bunk window I tossed raisins and almonds to the bear, but all strength had left me and instead of throwing the trail mix it simply dropped along the side of the camper.
Then a voice cried out from the distance. It said, “Are you okay?”
God? I thought.
But it wasn't God. It a man on a hike who saw what was happening.
“Yes!” I answered.
“Are you feeding the bear?”
“Yes!” I yelled.
“Stop feeding the bear!”
What a great idea! Yes. Stop feeding the bear!
“Drive away!”
Yes! Drive away!
I grabbed the keys, raced to the driver’s seat and fired up the engine. As the engine backfired, the bear fled running into the woods. I drove back to the main campus of the ashram where I was greeted by staff members with flower essences, hot tea, and comforting words.
For the rest of my stay I was known as the bear lady. Deciding to “camp” in the ashram parking lot, I removed my silence sign and joined the spiritual clan sharing my story about the bear and his wisdom.
Today, when faced with bear-sized issues, I ask myself: Am I feeding this bear or is it time to drive away?
