There is a theory that if you fill a room with enough business-suit-wearing strangers carrying enough business cards then that room will fill with magical rainbows leading to jobs, promotions, sales, connections and endlessly pursued new career opportunities. This is the theory of mixers and every other networking event your boss recommended you attend, where you are sweating through your nice suit because you do not recognize a single face, your watch must be broken because every time you check it only two minutes have passed, and the hors d’oeuvres (if there are any) look like they are still thawing from plastic. You feel like both a car salesman and a child on the first day of school. And you certainly do not see any rainbows.
Fortunately, business people are beginning to rethink networking. The emerging theory is that personal relationships are the foundation of collaboration and growth. We should not want to meet people simply for the advantages they can provide us. We should not view our fellow community members as transactions for opportunities. Instead, we should connect with our neighbors because they are humans with their own charms and differences, and we should want to hear their stories, help resolve their problems, and build genuine friendships. Then, maybe we can turn to those people for professional advice or connections. Particularly within our close-knit cities, our professional success will soar if we prioritize person-to-person empowerment. And there are already groups in our region doing just that.
Image Courtesy Rubina Azizdin
The Real Superwomen
For far too long, women were excluded from the business world. They were discouraged from taking career risks or having any career at all. Fortunately, that has changed and women are now consistently proving their worth as business owners, executives and role models. One woman is making sure her fellow ladies continue setting high goals, fighting for them, and achieving. Rubina Azizdin understands the importance of building each other up, especially for women. As a career counselor at Central Penn College and having worked in family counseling for 12 years, Azizdin has attended dozens of networking events. She often gets asked by her students, “how do you know so many people?” But when she would send students to these events, they would bring back the same feedback: they felt unwelcomed, awkward and out of place. It was clear that this form of networking felt intimidating and superficial, especially for young people with underwhelming resumes and for women who seek authentic connections that go beyond surface-level business partnerships.
So Azizdin created the REAL Networking Group, whose mission is rooted in relationships, empowerment, authenticity and laughter. Each month, a group of about 45 women ranging from students to CEOs meets at Central Penn. They begin by introducing themselves with their personal identity—not their business title—followed by an empowerment session during which a speaker discusses a topic such as leadership, time management or mindfulness; they then engage in a storytelling session for members to share commonalities and experiences. The remaining time is dedicated to networking. Many of the more experienced women mentor students and alumni, and some have formed strong bonds through the group. It is “a place to turn to for support and empowerment,” Azizdin says, and a place “to celebrate each other.” She hopes to eventually transition into a non-profit so REAL Networking can reach even more women across the state and potentially the nation.
Photo by Donovan Roberts Witmer
Not Your Average Book Club
According to Jean Kilheffer Hess, old-fashioned mixers typically revolve around one thing: meeting as many people as possible. Consequently, you leave with a pocketful of business cards that you might never again read, as your card will get lost in someone else’s forgotten stack. Kilheffer Hess describes these interactions as basic and surface-level. As the director of strategic development for United Zion Retirement Community, she recognizes the value in building deep bonds within the community. “Meaningful collaboration comes from meaningful relationships,” she says.
So when Kilheffer Hess shared a table at an event with Kathryn Ross, Founder and CEO of Kross Strategies, the two began exchanging ideas. They decided to form a book club for businesswomen who are high-achieving and intellectual, who would typically not dedicate spare time to a book club. Every other month, between five and 12 women gather in a member’s home. The host chooses the book, but each piece of literature focuses on personal or professional development. Among these women are lawyers, executives, accountants, business owners and more. They have already established themselves as successful leaders in their industries, yet Kilheffer Hess says what brings members together is the desire to “share with each other ways for learning and growing” and to “benefit from smart, insightful conversation.” But it’s not strictly business. Kilheffer Hess also appreciates the group as a place where they can be themselves and have fun, she says, proving that the most effective form of networking begins with a genuine effort to learn from and serve others while building friendships. “Everything that gets accomplished in the world gets accomplished because people work together,” Kilheffer Hess says. Now more than ever, we know that she is right.
The Creative Type
When Addie Eshelman moved to Carlisle, she knew no one except her husband. The two had graduated college, but Addie was not finding fulfillment with her degree. So she instead chose to explore her passion and began taking photography workshops. Soon, that passion became a career as Eshelman started her own business for wedding photography. But creative work is often lonely work. A large component of the production process involves sitting at a computer by oneself editing photos, designing a website, writing paragraphs or performing some other tasks best done in a quiet, unsocial place. This realization hit Eshelman quickly. Although she was thrilled by the growth of her business, she was lonely.
Then, she and her husband had their first child. And since caring for a baby tends to put a damper on an already unexceptional social life, Eshelman felt even more isolated. So she searched for ways to connect with other creatives and small business owners and discovered Rising Tides, an online resource offering tools and opportunities that support creative business people. One of these tools is Tuesdays Together, a meetup on the second Tuesday of each month for people not working the typical 9-5 to share stories and ideas. Upon learning about this concept, Eshelman created a local chapter and founded Tuesdays Together of Carlisle.
After the first few meetings, Eshelman says the group gained momentum very quickly. Now, Tuesdays Together of Carlisle has over 200 Facebook members who swap ideas online and about 50 members who attend meetings. At these meetings, held anywhere from a coffee shop to a winery to a local boutique, members will discuss a central topic like website design, email marketing, social media, etc. The goal is to hear and tell stories, share knowledge, seek advice—essentially to relax, learn and talk about experiences. While there are obvious professional benefits here, Eshelman says the common reason members show up is to make friends. Because members work in the same industry as photographers, designers, event planners, business owners and more, Eshelman says she now is friends with many of the people she works with. For example, when shooting a wedding, she might know the planner, florist and baker, which Eshelman says brings comfort to the bride. Because of Tuesdays Together, these creative business people have empowered one another through personal and professional support, from watching each other’s kids to referring clients. “There is no scoreboard,” Eshelman says, “only empowerment.”
