This year hasn’t been what any of us expected. We’ve all felt the loss of a life pre-pandemic. We’ve all learned to cope in various ways, some healthy, some not. And we’re still navigating what this new world looks like for ourselves, our families, and the wider world community. What we value individually and societally is now under a hyper-focused lens. And as much as that can be ugly, it’s also an opportunity.
One thing I’ve found particularly troubling is the messaging going out to women that now is the time to lose the weight. In the midst of a worldwide pandemic, political drama, heightened racial tensions, and climate change, there are a few other things for us to focus on. So how is it that we are to solve all issues by making ourselves smaller? There are a lot of drivers, but money is a big one. According to a study released in 2019, “The U.S. weight loss market is now worth a record $72 billion.” And as a fitness studio owner, former ballet dancer, and individual who’s struggled with varying eating disorders, I’ve lived it. Aside from the external pressures to look a certain way, we’re looking for control.
As far as I’ve come on my journey with seeing my value beyond what my body looks like, this past year revealed to me how much body dysmorphia is still a part of my daily life. My body looks much different now than it did a year ago. I joke that I have a pandemic bump, but it truly is a stress response to an incredibly intense time. After having two babies, and always espousing a philosophy of empowering women as they are, I thought I had the message. But it’s a lot easier to be body positive when you look a certain way. Being body-positive with a belly? That wasn’t allowed. So I chose and continue to choose a different way of showing up for myself and the world around me. I refuse to let my daughter believe that she is only as good as she looks. And, I must deeply know this for myself first.
So, here’s the approach I’ve taken to the continued healing of my own issues around body image and diet. This is not a one and done thing, it’s a process. But it’s a simple one. And you can make it your own.
1. Affirm It
Words are powerful. We all know it. And most of us would never speak to a friend the way we speak to ourselves. Take a few minutes of quiet to come up with a morning phrase. Mine,“Good morning beautiful, thanks for showing up today in body, mind, and spirit.” Look in the mirror and say it like you mean it every morning. Put it on a sticky note. Start your day with appreciation for your whole being.
2. Reframe It
Just like you have to consistently support a child with learning a new skill like walking, do the same for yourself. As thoughts pop up throughout the day around what you are and aren’t allowed to do, gently correct them. Let, “how does this serve me?” become a barometer for choices. Reframe your negative messages into action-oriented ones like, “I’m discovering a new way of feeding myself,” or “I’m figuring out how to care for my body.”
3. Move It
Whether it’s jogging around the block or dancing in your kitchen, find a way to move that feels good! That’s right, movement isn’t about losing weight. It’s about giving to yourself. And as we enter into gift giving season, how perfect to focus on this! I love watching my kids and my puppy move and guess what? They do it without stressing about it. They move the way that energizes them. That’s how we all need to move. Think of Marie Kondo here, find movement that sparks joy.
Remember, you are enough just as you are. What you offer the world is so much more than your body. You are inherently worthy and you do not need to prove that to anyone else. You just need to believe it for yourself. Instead of making this year one about finally achieving some arbitrary number on the scale, make it about living your best life. About loving yourself more than you thought you could. Breaking old patterns super-imposed by a standard set purposely unattainable. Make this year about empowerment. Your future self will thank you.
For more resources around intuitive eating and body positivity, follow these accounts on Instagram @luurich, @chrissykingfitness @latinanutritionist, @nutritiontea. And please share your story, it’s in sharing our stories that we lift each other up. I’d love to hear yours!
Marie Cleaves Rothacker
Marie is owner of Move It Studio in Lancaster and newly certified doula. Follow @moveitlanc and @moveitdoula for more body positivity and inspiration.
