New Year’s Day is a time for recovery, parades, college football, reflection, and lists. Many of us go through the motions of creating New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are forgotten or ignored within the first month of the young year.
For many, the resolutions are not even considered again, but for some, they nag and create guilt and despondency when we fail, once again, to meet them.
In my efforts to go anti-list for 2025, I still had to compile one more list -- a list of alternatives to traditional resolutions. Don’t look for lose 10 pounds or spend less money resolutions as part of these New Year’s Un-Resolutions.
To Don’t Lists
This year, why not try to create a list that’s more forgiving, friendly, and fun – like more upbeat bucket lists. Instead of a To Do list, how about a To Don’t list. It could include things like Don’t beat myself up over things left on my To Do list or Don’t always give in to others or Don’t give up food I love to lose weight.
Pursue a Passion
A Pursue a Passion list might be fun. Maybe 2025 will be the year to finally sit down and learn or relearn guitar or make time for long hikes. Did you buy a knitting kit during Covid that sits longingly in a corner? Maybe that sweater will come into existence in 2025.
Mindfulness?
Is it possible to find just 5, 10, or 30 minutes a day to practice mindfulness, when you allow yourself some peace, quiet, and time for reflection? If that’s not for you, could you spare that time to jam out to some favorite music without distraction of work or other tasks and thoughts? What about time to dance around in the basement without an audience, or to create a handcrafted cocktail? Maybe a poem or puzzle a day will help to release some tension?
Small change, big savings
Is saving money or limiting spending usually on your list of resolutions? A broad goal is often hard to achieve, but if it’s broken down to something that could be small and doable, it might turn into big savings in time.
Last year, I finally broke my multiple times a week need for coffeehouse lattes and flat whites after visiting friends who made me a delicious cup of coffee in a Moccamaster machine with oat milk warmed in the microwave. A friend had offered me a Moccamaster that she wasn’t using, but I had turned it down because I didn’t want to sacrifice counter space. I had a Chemix and made myself time intensive pour-over coffee from time to time, but not regularly.
After enjoying that quickly brewed yet tasty coffee at my friends’ home, I contacted the other friend and cleared off my countertop. I’ve been brewing delicious coffee every day since. My beans arrive on a monthly subscription from Denim Coffee, which roasts fantastic beans at their Shippensburg roastery, and now I’m saving tens of dollars a week while drinking more high-quality coffee than ever.
Help others
In 2025, helping yourself could also involve helping others. Consider your interests and talents and find a local non-profit you might volunteer with – it could be an hour or two a week or a month, or even less frequent bursts of volunteering. For example, my local library hosts a book sale each year. Volunteering at a once-a-year event like that is rewarding – and can yield great book finds. Sports enthusiasts might volunteer to coach a team, or to help with running or bike race coordination. For those who love the outdoors, trailkeepers are always needed. Nearly every field or interest has some kind of tie-in to a potential volunteer opportunity.
I wrote an article about the Hershey Therapeutic Skating program a few years ago that helps children and adults with physical and mental disabilities to ice skate. Seeing the joy on the faces of not only the participants, but also the volunteers illustrates the value of volunteering. I also recently wrote about the Harrisburg Area Police Athletic League’s new headquarters for youth in Lower Paxton Township in facilities reclaimed from nature with hours of volunteer work with those same volunteers now helping to give area youth guidance, sports, and a place to hang out.
Relationship tweaks
Maybe 2025 could be the year to rekindle your romance. In 2016, the New York Times published a much referenced “Modern Love” column titled “The 36 Questions that Lead to Love.” While it targets first date couples hoping to find compatibility, these questions could also help to refresh a stale relationship or one that’s just fallen into a long, redundant marriage rhythm. You can never go wrong with telling your partner something you like about him/her or considering if you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?
While on a dinner date – and maybe going through the 36 questions – it might also be a great time to talk about what the two of you would like to explore together in the new year. Maybe this will be the year to ride bicycle together, tackle a house project together, or help each other with diet and fitness goals. Do you have passions you could share together?
Declutter
One of my favorite new year’s missives came after reading an essay in The New Yorker by Ann Patchett called “How To Practice,” which later became part of her book, These Precious Days. In this essay, Patchett helps a friend go through her father’s possessions after his sudden death. She decides that she never wants someone else to have to go through all of her clutter, so she digs in, going through every nook and cranny of her home, parting with heirlooms and things that became special just be virtue of having kept them for so many years. She gives lots of things away as she declutters her house and her life.
It's hard to do the deep dive that Patchett was able to do, but just cleaning out a drawer or a cupboard can be rewarding and surprising – I found jewelry I had forgotten I had and now wear again, and other pieces that I gave away. I reread some of the research sources for my master’s thesis before tossing them into recycling.
For someone whose favorite cleaning method before guests arrive has always been to throw something behind a closed door, I still have plenty of closets, shelves, and drawers to tackle, but even a small start can be so rewarding.
Less is more
Along with the motivation to declutter I took from Patchett, I decided also to try not to buy any new clothes for one year with the exception of allowing myself to get underwear or workout clothes I felt I needed. I found that I didn’t really need anything new, and in fact, that I needed to weed out my wardrobe. In theory, if I haven’t worn something in a year, it’s time for that piece to go. In practice, it’s sometimes hard to part with some things, thinking that maybe next year I’d drop that 5 pounds and it would look good again. Toss it anyway.
One year, decluttering my life also meant examining the jewelry I wore daily. Through the years, I had decided that silver rings were part of my image, so I loaded more and more rings onto four fingers of each hand. I set off airport metal detectors and nearly ripped my fingers off on things the rings would catch on. It was time to declutter my fingers. I kept my wedding band, and the blue topaz sparkler I wore over it on my left ring finger, and a puzzle-like Irish souvenir on the right ring finger and the others went back in the box. I felt surprisingly lighter, and four years later, I don’t miss that bling and my image is in tact.
Decluttering might also mean giving up some groups or obligations or makeup rituals. Maybe saying no to some requests or meetups might help free up time and open up pathways to more relaxation and freedom.
Beyond the senses
I always advise students to involve the senses in their writing, which in turn will engage the reader. This is the perfect advice to self as well – engage your senses, all of them, every day. Soak in the moments. Look for beauty. Breathe deep. Pamper your skin. Try new food and music. In 2025, allow yourself a little time to step back, to connect with others, to throw out the lists and just live life. Read, eat your way through a city, learn a new language, reconnect with an old friend or mentor, adopt or foster something (a pet, child, plant, park, etc.), take a class, or take a nap. Find the things that bring you joy and pursue them.
To read about therapeutic skating, go to https://theburgnews.com/sports-health/breaking-the-ice-hockey-helps-special-needs-participants-find-new-freedom. My article on HAPAL is at https://theburgnews.com/around-the-burg/a-move-a-mission-hapal-swings-into-new-era-of-helping-area-youth.
The 36 questions can be found at https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html, and Ann Patchett’s essay is at https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021/03/08/how-to-practice
To read more of my blogs, please visit https://www.debelynch.com
