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Holiday time can be stressful for anyone, but if you are a parent trying to give your children that “perfect” holiday season, it can be easy to become overwhelmed. We have all watched the movies and the TV commercials, and we have that idea of what a memorable, happy holiday season looks like—but let’s put things into perspective.
More than the cookies, the presents, the mall trips, the Santa visits and the extravagant meals, what your child really wants and needs is a happy, healthy home. A stressed parent is more likely to indulge in unhealthy behaviors, including over-eating and drinking too much alcohol.
As the holidays approach, here are some tips:
- Maintain positive social connections: There is an emphasis on “positive” when it comes to social interaction. Spend time with the people in your life who make you feel good. They can provide you with help and support, as well as alleviate stress. If you are limited on friends or family that provide a positive environment, try volunteering at a local charity. Doing things for others is good for the soul—and isn’t that what the holidays are really about? Set a good example for your children, and have them volunteer alongside you.
- Practice gratitude: Ask your children what they are thankful for this holiday season, and teach them to focus on what they have instead of what they want. Think about what you are grateful for, and even write it down. This has been shown to have positive effects on your overall mood.
- Talk to your kids about different holidays: It is important to show your children that not every family is the same—and it can take some of the pressure off you. Explain different holidays that are celebrated and their traditions, and teach your children to be open-minded individuals.
- Keep some perspective: It does you no good to fret about all the things that could go wrong this holiday season. After all, the season itself is only a couple months long, and when it is over, it will soon be forgotten. If it is not, you will have time later to approach the situation. Ask yourself, “what is the worst that could happen?” and think about how you would manage such a disaster. It may never happen, and if it does, you will be prepared. Tap into your strengths as a person.
- Don’t forget about you: Yes, we want our children to have the best holiday ever! But that doesn’t have to mean loads of debt for you or late hours spent shopping or cooking. Take care of yourself. Get some rest, and take some “me time”—whether by going to a yoga class, taking a bath or spending an evening out with friends. Maybe it means shutting yourself away for the evening with a good book.
- It’s okay to say no: Holiday parties and activities can be fun, but they can also contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed and overworked. It is okay not to commit to every event. It won’t do you any good to spread yourself too thin.
- Don’t abandon healthy habits: Yes, the cookies, the pies and the fancy alcoholic drinks are fun, but too much of them can make you feel unwell—causing more stress, anxiety and feelings of depression. Try to get some exercise a few times a week, get a good night’s sleep and eat healthy, well-rounded meals.
- Set a budget: If you make it clear from the beginning that you will only spend X amount on gifts for your friends and family, then you will be less stressed as you go through the process. You can be prepared for bills, plan accordingly and maintain realistic expectations. Making gifts can also be fun and less expensive. Get the kids involved and teach them the value of giving a gift from the heart.
- Set aside family differences: Easier said than done, but if you can muster the energy to put family troubles aside and aim for more peace, you will be happier yourself. It is okay to set boundaries ahead of time or create an exit plan if things get uncomfortable.
- Plan ahead: A little planning can go along way. Knowing who will host the holiday parties (or taking the initiative to decide whether you will or will not) can help to limit stress when things start to get hectic. You can also start your baking early—cookies and pies freeze well, and that leaves one less step you have to worry about.
If at any point you feel unable to manage stress, it may be helpful to turn to a licensed mental health provider. He or she can work with you to develop healthy coping techniques and approaches to your stress and anxiety.