
Photo By Katie King Photography
Kylie Stoltzfus is a contributing writer for Susquehanna Style and former owner of Kylie Grace Film Co., a wedding videography company serving couples in Lancaster.
From posing with your best friends for bridal party photos and greeting guests you haven’t seen for years, to cutting cake and dancing under glittering lights—every wedding is packed with back-to-back events and emotion-filled moments. If you’re not careful, any slow moments may quickly become overshadowed by the countdown to ceremony.
Working in the industry as a wedding filmmaker, I had the privilege of capturing wedding days for countless couples and working alongside all-star vendor teams, each working behind the scenes to keep the day on schedule. The days that stand out most in my mind are the ones where the couple prioritized peace by building slowness into their schedule. It wasn’t an afterthought—it was an intention set from the very beginning of the planning process.
How to make this happen? Talk to your planner, your photographer and handpicked vendors. They are ready to make every dream come true, especially if that means an extra minute to steal away with the people you love on a day you’ll treasure forever.
Here are some ways to make time for the moments that matter most:
PLAN A SLOW MORNING
The tradition of keeping couples separate before a wedding ceremony dates back centuries to a time when many marriages were arranged. It’s rooted in a superstition that the groom would back out in his commitment to marry if he saw his bride before being at the altar. It’s a tradition that’s endured, but if you’ve got a rebellious streak, consider having breakfast or morning coffee with your partner before the day starts. A quiet moment can ground any event-induced jitters and bring an added burst of excitement to the day. I’ve heard couples reflect on the time before first looks by saying, “I felt off all morning because my person wasn’t around.” As soon as they saw each other, their peace returned.
FIRST LOOKS FOR ALL
Whether you’re choosing to see your partner before the ceremony or saving that first glance to be in front of your friends and family, first looks aren’t reserved merely for brides and grooms. Once the dresses have been buttoned, ties straightened and makeup finished, consider inviting a grandparent, parent or siblings to see you before you make your grand entrance down the aisle. These are intimate moments to honor the people who have stood beside you, supporting and encouraging you toward this very day.
WRITE A LOVE NOTE
It can be overwhelming to connect meaning - fully with every single person you hope to. Handwritten notes are an intentional detail that can happen before the day itself, creating a connection between you and your guests without needing to carve out significant time in your schedule or exert additional energy. I’ve seen brides give their bridesmaids handwritten notes as they are in hair and makeup or before walking down the aisle. Reading someone’s most sincere thoughts and then moving through a day of supporting and reflecting on what their friendship means to you adds a special layer of celebration to the day. If you’re opting for a micro wedding or a more manageable guest count, consider leaving sweet notes for each of your guests at their place settings. Task you and your partner to write a short note of the family and friends you've invited to the party. Don’t have time to add this to your mile-long to-do list? Try sourcing notecards from companies like Felt that conveniently turn type into your handwriting.
KEEP SURPRISES SIMPLE
When we talk about wedding day surprises, there is often an emphasis on grandeur or expensive signs of affection. Realistically, the simplest surprises become the most meaningful. It could be asking the DJ to play one of your parents' most favorite songs, inviting them to the dance floor to scream it at the top of their lungs with the crowd. It could be dedicating your bouquet to your mom instead of tossing it into a sea of single ladies. I recently read about a couple who decided to play rock paper scissors at the altar to decide who would read their vows first. A couple I worked with decided to have a coffee station, featuring mugs they picked up at thrift stores during the months of their engagement leading up to the wedding. At the end of the night, each guest left the party with a favor hand-picked and thoughtfully curated by the couple. It's these small, special moments that showcase your personalities and add up to a memorable wedding day for all involved.
TAKE A BEAT
After the ceremony and before the reception, carve out time to be together as a couple— just the two of you. It doesn’t have to be long, but find a few seconds to ground yourself, look at each other and say, “We just did that.”