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The Male Perspective on the #MeToo Movement
By Jonathan Rivera
Social movements have been important throughout the history of the United States of America. The #MeToo movement has grown in prominence as a nation-wide movement in 2018. The movement’s goals are to spread awareness about sexual harassment and assault, and has led to many major sexual misconduct allegations against celebrities and other figures of importance in our society. Not only has the movement shone an enormous spotlight on public figures, but it has also changed the mind frames of college students around the nation. College campuses serve as a hub for multiple opinions and points of views to be shared about social movements, such as the #MeToo movement, and I talked to a few students at Millersville University to get a male perspective on their thoughts about the movement and how it has affected them personally.
The movement has been making headlines all year and most people who are active on social media have seen stories being shared by victims of sexual assault. Some famous figures, such as Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby, have been targets of the movement for multiple sexual misconduct allegations against them. I believe the movement has shown that victims are supported and do not need to be afraid of telling their truth anymore. As a result, many victims, both male and female, are coming forward to share their experiences in confidence and with the knowledge that they have real support.
Another effect that the movement has caused is the scope of the issue. With more victims coming out, people are learning how much this problem happens and is happening. While there are the big examples of celebrity crimes being exposed, it is the daily struggle that females experience that is the most shocking revelation. Xavier Dillingham, 21, of Millersville University says, “The MeToo movement has given me insight and understanding of the issue. I absolutely have gotten a better sense of the issue through the stories that men and women are sharing.” While many celebrities have come under fire for their sexual misconduct behavior, it is not an exclusive issue to just celebrities. The problem branches out from family members, bosses at work, and everyday strangers who behave criminally.
As the movement progresses, the idea of consent is considered. “Personally I always have asked ‘Do you mind?’ I make sure the other person is comfortable with the situation and make sure that I am listening,” Dillingham says. Consent is about communication and I believe the movement has gotten the conversation started between men and women about how to communicate better and how to be better listeners to one another. Men around campus have gained a new sense of awareness and have been exposed to social cues that they may not have known before. “Guys are becoming more aware and having to consider their actions more and act more responsibly,” Dillingham says.
As victims gain the confidence to share their stories and their perspectives, everyone has gained important knowledge about what is okay and what is wrong and how to communicate with each other with respect, understanding, and responsibility. As celebrities and criminals come under fire for their behavior, it displays the notion that no one is untouchable and allowed to behave criminally without justice.
“It’s one of the biggest social movements and it feels like it’s the only one taking down big powerful people,” Justin Gibson, a 20 year-old student at Millersville University says.
There is a widespread opinion that people with a lot of money, or people in high positions, in our society are able get away from punishment for their crimes. The #MeToo movement has left the impression of being a movement of justice, and support has been shown because of that.
“It is a very well intentioned movement that is meant to weed out those who abuse their power,” Shayne Gasser, 20, of Millersville University says.
The fight against sexual assault and harassment is not perfect though. There have been cases that have resulted in decisions that have disgusted the #MeToo movement’s supporters. Many supporters felt let down by the criminal justice system’s decision in the Brock Turner case, in which Turner was found guilty of sexually assaulting an unconscious and intoxicated young woman outside a fraternity house. His sentence was six months of prison time and three years of probation, which was cut to three months of jail time, as he was released for good behavior. As a result of this situation, “California lawmakers passed a mandatory minimum sentence for sexual offenders, and closed a state loophole that saw perpetrators in cases where the victim was unconscious, able to avoid prison time,” according to the Los Angeles Times.
Many supporters of the movement have been extremely critical of the way the justice system handled the Brock Turner case, real change came about in the laws of California, and some would consider that a win and a result of the #MeToo movement.
While some of the focus of men that I have spoken to about the movement seems to be the movement’s ability to bring down “powerful” people, even those who fully support the movement have some fears about false accusations. Owen Williams, 21, of Millersville University expressed some worries about the movement by saying that some parts of it began to feel like a witch hunt, as some accusations have turned out to be false. Some men may be freaking out, but I believe the #MeToo movement is a positive reality check for men and women, as accountability and responsibility is being preached. “Men and women can’t hide behind ignorance anymore. The consequences are in your face now as everyone can see the stories being shared all over social media,” Dillingham says.
The worries about false accusations do not take away from any of the support that the men I talked with felt. Another male student, Derek Sterback, 23, says, “Without a doubt I support the movement. It’s important to have a platform where victims and advocates against sexual assault and harassment can voice and shed light on the shocking truth about just how often these events occur.”
The MeToo movement has become just that. A platform for people to speak about their experiences with sexual assault and harassment, man or woman. Signs can be found around Millersville’s campus that talk about consent and being a responsible partner in a relationship. Other signs can be found that talk about responsibility with alcohol, partying, and consent. A level of hyperawareness has been raised as people are beginning to understand the scope of sexual assault and people around campuses are beginning to look out for one another. Men have shown support for the cause, but at the same time are also being educated about how much harassment and sexual assault actually occurs and what they can do to be educated and do better.
“It seems like people are starting to keep their head on a cognitive swivel wherever they are, whether it’s at a party, or out in public, as they gain more awareness of the situation,” Dillingham says.
As the movement progresses, victims have been given a voice to speak out against anyone who has harmed them and are met with the support needed for them to be strong in their circumstances. The men of Millersville University that I spoke with wanted to express their support for the movement and to display that they are not against, or indifferent, about the movement either. The time has come for accountability and support for victims of sexual assault come from man and woman, young and old, and from University campuses all across the United States.
“It’s great that everyone affected feels they can speak up now and no one’s voice should be silenced,” Dillingham adds.
The Impact of the #MeToo Movement on College Campuses from Her Perspective
By Lierin Randall
My freshman orientation in 2016 is the first time I heard about “consent.” It was required freshman take a course on alcohol, a course in which rape, and specifically the term consent, was brought up. At first, I didn’t take it seriously. Obviously, everyone knew what consent was, right? No one would think to take advantage of someone who was intoxicated at a party or walking home by herself, right? My freshman year was also the year Brock Turner was convicted of three counts of felony sexual assault after being found raping an unconscious girl. “What was she wearing?” “If she was flirtatious with him at a party she was asking for it.” “Was she intoxicated?” It seemed people were quick to blame the female for her attire and her conduct. Turner got off easy with three months because of the “mental torment and stress.”
For years people had put the blame on rape victims. The perpetrators never seemed to be held accountable for their actions. My school system taught me well; if I wasn’t wearing anything revealing or intoxicated, I was safe. If I was, I was asking for it. Then, on October 15, 2017, Twitter blew up with stories from survivors and enraged females and suddenly truth seemed to come to light. It didn’t seem to matter what you wore, who you were with, what your conduct was like. Rape happened to the girl in the jeans and a sweater. Rape happened to the girl who was not intoxicated at the party. Rape happens to at least one in five women during college. Stories were coming out of the woodwork and a firestorm had begun. The #MeToo movement was in full swing and as more survivors joined the hashtag, people started to become more aware of a big problem in today’s society.
So, how has the impact of the #MeToo movement affected college campuses? What are universities doing to be proactive against rapists, and how are they treating survivors? I sat down with a current college student and survivor who wished to remain anonyms. My first question for her was regarding the awareness brought to the #MeToo movement and if she saw an effect, specifically on guys.
Do you think the effect of the movement has brought about more awareness? Are guys thinking differently because of the effect of the movement?
“It has brought to light so many aspects of the issue–a major part of the problem being consent. Realizing that guys don’t know what consent is, is just as important as teaching them what consent is. A lot of guys have had grey area sexual encounters…she didn’t say no, but she also didn’t say yes. It brings it all back to knowing what consent is. I think that’s why guys defend other guys, because they have had grey area sexual encounters. Enthusiastic consent will result in no chance to have those grey area sexual encounters.
I have seen a lot of posts about the #MeToo movement online and guys will comment on it when it comes up. I have seen a lot of encouraging comments and supportive comments. Regarding their awareness because of the movement, guys didn’t know before that we are constantly on the defensive. We are always trying to prevent getting assaulted, we don’t walk alone at night, we don’t ride the subway by ourselves…awareness in that regard has been so important and they didn’t realize that. The initial reaction from a lot of guys when it comes to victim’s is ‘why didn’t you say no’ and ‘why didn’t you just leave?’ Most guys don’t know what it’s like to be pressured into a sexual encounter and that unwanted sexual encounter is uncomfortable and trying to get out of it is very difficult.”
I then asked if she chose to report the rape to campus security. From a personal standpoint, it is important to know what our school systems/resources/mentors are responding to this, what are they doing to prevent this from happening again, and how they assist survivors. Her response disappointed me. As much as there have been major milestones made on the topic, it is clear school systems are not aware of the severity of the problem or how to adequately approach and deal with it.
Did you report it?
“I did not report. I told a friend, and later on, told my current boyfriend. I didn’t go to the police, security at my college, or even go to counseling. At the time, I wanted to pretend it didn’t happen and by the time I came to terms with the fact that it DID happen, I felt there was no proof. After all, it happened at his house and after it happened I had slept in his bed next to him. I was scared of the awkwardness of me leaving. I was trying to protect the comfortability of him after he had just…raped me…it’s so twisted. I protect[ed] his ego, instead of my own body and mind. I didn’t want to talk about it, relive it, or go to court. There have been so many stories of women sexually assaulted on campus and put on leave of absence. They didn’t want [the student] to bring attention to the school or people to know about it. That was enough to defer from sharing my story. Looking back now, I would make the same decision I did then because I do not feel as though sharing my story with the university would have presented any sort of solution or healing to me.”
As a college student, I have been cautious about going out, getting intoxicated, and sticking with a friend(s) at all times. I asked the victim about her college life after her traumatic experience. Did her experience make her even more aware of what is going on around her at parties? Has her dating life been affected? I couldn’t imagine going through what she did and living life as if everything were normal. She radiated strength in her answer. And I was taken back by how she took her experience and used it as a source of healing and positivity for her future.
How has going out in college changed for you? Has your experience affected that in any way?
“I was always been super, super, cautious about going out and being aware of guys at parties. Before it happened, I didn’t know how to say no and didn’t have the confidence to tell them off. Now, I have left the place of protecting other people’s egos above my own mental health and personal comfort. Now I am adamant about saying ‘don’t touch me without asking’ and ‘I’m not going to talk to you if I don’t want to.’ In the aftermath, I have claimed. ‘this is my body, this is my space, this is my time. You are not going to touch me if I don’t want you to.’ Although I wouldn’t have been able to do this before, I am not stronger because of what happened to me, I am stronger because of the healing I have done.”
How has dating life changed for you? Has your experience affected that in any way?
“When it happened, I was at a point in my life when I was strictly not dating. It was only a couple of months after it happened that I met my current boyfriend, who I didn’t tell until six months into the relationship. It did have an effect on me. I told my best friend at the time that it happened, but after that, nobody else knew and I hadn’t talked about it in eight months. My current boyfriend was so supportive and protective. My experience didn’t change my perspective on guys because most guys I have met and am friends with are great people. If anything, my experience changed my perspective on any kind of sexual experience that my current boyfriend and I have. I am very hyper aware of how he is responding to things, which you should always be aware of. Before I was raped, I didn’t have that in mind. I have [read] online [where] other survivors, because of their traumatic experience, [have] later on [had] a negative experience or a trigger [because of] sex. I think my experience is a testament [that] everyone this has happened to has a different response.”
Interviewing a college peer and victim has given me a new perspective on healing and growth from traumatic situations. She is dedicated to bringing awareness to rape, how to heal, and how to move forward with your life. My last and final question for her is about the effect of the #MeToo movement and her hope for the future.
Has the effect of the movement made you feel hopeful for the future?
“The awareness is what everything is stemming from. Men are more aware of what is okay, what women go through. In a lot of ways because men lack understanding, they lack empathy, and are less likely to believe those that come forward. Along with the importance of teaching the next generation, we should be teaching this generation, and by setting an example, we should set a precedent for the next generation. Society is slowly but surely realizing that it is not the responsibility of the victim to protect themselves, it’s the responsibility of the rapist not to rape people. It isn’t what you’re wearing, where you are, the time of day, it is not whether or not you have pepper spray in your hand. It’s if you are in the presence of a rapist and are they targeting you. Specifically, for women, the awareness and sharing of stories are working to lessen the prevalence of rape. My main message to girls out there is that you shouldn’t be afraid to leave or say no. If I had left when I initially felt uncomfortable, it wouldn’t have happened. Don’t put societal expectations or other people’s egos above your own safety. That goes from anything from sexual assault, to sexual encounters, to drinking and drugs, and toxic friendships/relationships.”
The strength and willingness of this survivor and others to share their stories amazes me. This and other stories like hers offer an inside look on the female perspective of the #MeToo movement and its effect on college campuses. Her response to the school system’s lack of support, made me realize that there is still work to be done. My perspective on the movement as well as hearing this particular story was life changing, and like many survivors, her hope is to get her message across to other young girls and others across college campuses. As long as we are being open and vulnerable, bringing awareness, and keeping the conversation going, the impact on society will be greater than the sum of its painful parts.