Sitting at the Thanksgiving table with a wonderful meal spread out before you surrounded by family or friends, it’s easy to think of what makes you thankful. But soon the rosy picture of the holiday starts to fade, and back to the regular routine, your brain may focus more on what is not going right, rather than the parts of your life for which you feel gratitude.
Research studies have shown a regular practice of gratitude can make you healthier and happier. Unfortunately, gratitude doesn’t come easily at times; understanding how the brain works can help explain this phenomenon.
Our brains naturally want to pick out the negative parts of our lives. Here is a brief explanation of why it’s wired to be so negative and what you can do about it.
Long before setting the timer on the stove for the turkey or, ugh, another story by your over-sharing in-law, our ancestors worried about the not-so trivial things—where to hunt the next meal, where to find a water source, how to keep the fire going inside the cave. Over time, a lot of time, our brains became wired to focus on the negative.
That’s not such a bad thing. Focusing on the negative keeps us aware of the risks we face in our lives; in other words, we survived by being acutely aware of what threatened us.
But today in our modern society it’s not as imperative that we constantly think about our own survival. Despite that, we often find that our thoughts go in the negative direction. So what can you do about this? Consider the antidote: gratitude. Having a practice where you take time to notice the positive things in your life is a powerful way to combat negative thoughts.
What is a gratitude practice? It can be as simple as:
- Write three things in a journal (before bed is a good time) about your day that you feel thankful for.
- Give your spouse, child, or loved one a compliment. Tell them something you appreciate about them.
- While you are doing a simple task, like brushing your hair in the morning, give yourself a compliment. Think of something you like about yourself or something you did recently that you feel particularly proud of.
Keep in mind that the things you feel grateful for are important no matter how big or small. Often, something as pedestrian as “I drank a really good cup of coffee today” is enough to get those positive thoughts and feelings flowing.
So what does research say about how gratitude makes us healthier and happier? A regular practice of gratitude can:
—Increase happiness
—Motivate people to exercise more
—Cause people to be more willing to help others
—Increase the quality of sleep
—Decrease depression
—Result in spouses having a healthier marriage
In this season of Thanksgiving I challenge you to start a gratitude practice and see if you can carry it all throughout the year.
Alison is a licensed professional counselor and the owner of Move Forward Counseling in Salunga, PA. Her therapy is cooking.
